


pizza

by occultisaperta



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Corpsekunno, First Time, Insecurity, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Pizza, Soft Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF), corpse/sykkuno - Freeform, stuttering corpse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:22:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28779714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultisaperta/pseuds/occultisaperta
Summary: Corpse said that he wanted to help him make a pizza... but did he really mean it?
Relationships: Corpse Husband/Sykkuno (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 81
Kudos: 869





	1. but did you really mean it?

**Author's Note:**

> hey, don't put this on them. i might ship it, but it's my own personal little thing. mine and anyone who is reading this. point being don't take it to them. if they ever say they don't want things like this up, i will take it down.
> 
> seriously though, during the pandemic these boys have been giving me life. you'll probably see a lot more fics from me for them. i see them having moments and my brain goes 'but what if...' so... that's what you're gonna see.
> 
> \--
> 
> unbeta read, first chapter written in one sitting. i just wanted to explore the scenario and then write filthy sex.
> 
> \--
> 
> ps. chapter two is full on smut because i thirst.

It was stupid, but he couldn't quit picking his phone up and almost dialing the number. He'd been thinking about it all night -- it was one of the reasons that he had blatantly and completely ignored his chat. He'd run away from the entire conversation as soon as he got a chance, because his heart had skipped a beat, excitement had flooded him and made a blush start on his cheeks...

And he couldn't let that happen -- especially not on live stream.

But it had almost... almost sounded like Corpse had asked him to hang out. Maybe on a...

But... no.

Still, Sykkuno was laying in his bed with his eyes on his phone; he'd had Corpse's number saved in there from the moment that he'd given it to him, even though he'd acted like he hadn't. He'd noticed the Discord Friend Request from the moment that he'd sent it. 

The number -- the request... every single bit of it was the same reaction as he was having now. Why would someone like _Corpse_ actually want to be his friend? It had been months and there was still a part of him that was reeling from it, and still a part of him that obviously didn't think that he was worthy of it, or he would have done _something_ by now, other than 'memeing' with him. 

The cat ears...

Well, that had been the closest that he'd managed to come to expressing himself in any way. 

And now there was the pizza thing.

 _"Yeah, yeah. You have to get... like... vegan pizza is kind of a hit or miss. So once you... it's usually good, but there are some..._ _they just have to do it right."_ Corpse was stuttering again -- he stuttered around people more than they realized, but he really stuttered around Sykkuno. Especially lately.

And then, there had been a beat, a pause. 

_"I could... I could help or something... if... I don't know."_

And Sykkuno's heart had leaped a beat, though his mouth was already trying to sabotage it. 

_"Oh, okay. Like... recommendations or something?"_

Another pause... and then in a burst of soft excitement and anxiousness, Corpse had answered. " _What if **we** made a pizza."_

He heard the _we_ part, and his head went fuzzy.

" _Made a pizza?"_ That would require them being together, and even though he'd certainly been in enough quarantine for fourteen days that he wouldn't pose a threat, surely Corpse hadn't meant...

 _"Like..._ _from scratch."_ He really did mean together? Sykkuno was panicking, and trying not to show it to the tens of thousands of people that were watching him, so the only thing he could do was laugh a bit. _"Made a pizza? I mean, I would try it, I've never made a pizza before."_

Maybe he meant virtually? Maybe he meant over a call -- but how would they make a pizza together over a call...

" _Are you good at..._ " And Corpse was stuttering again, tripping over his words, sounding soft and happy and delighted in a way that he didn't sound very often, unless he was speaking to Sykkuno.

Rae said his name, and he'd latched onto it.

"Wait, what are they talking about?"

And he was sure that he only just imagined the disappointed sound in the way that Corpse had answered.

And now he was hovering over his phone, staring at the number that he'd saved in there and wondering if it would be stupid to text him. He'd said he had to do some more recording -- his throat was going to be hurting. He probably wouldn't even feel like hanging out, he was--

His phone dinged. It was 3 am. 

**Hey, Sykkuno.**

It was a text message, and his heart felt like it skipped a beat. 

"Oh _Bingus_." he muttered the phrase under his breath and opened it up. Because of course, it was from Corpse.

_Hey. Thought we told you to get some rest._

It was easy to keep himself from stuttering when he was typing, at least. 

**I did tell you that I don't sleep.**

It was true, he had. But still... 

_What's up, Corpse?_

There was a moment where he could see him typing. And then stopping -- typing again, and then stopping. Until finally, he sent a message.

**Couldn't sleep. I was thinking...**

But apparently whatever he was thinking had been erased multiple times. Sykkuno fidgeted for a moment in his bed. His room was soundproofed -- even though he was one of the more quiet in his friend group, he didn't want to disturb anyone with his streaming. So... 

He took a breath and he could literally hear it rattle, but...

He pressed the call button. 

"S-Sykkuno?" The voice that answered wasn't sleepy like a voice should be at 3am. It was, however, a little confused, and Sykkuno knew why -- he actually didn't use his phone very much. He hadn't been lying when he said that; this was one of the few times that he'd actually talked to Corpse on the phone, and it was certainly the first time that he'd called him.

"Hey, Corpse. I... uh..." His hand came up, instantly ruffling through his hair in a nervous gesture. "I just thought this would be easier than texting."

And he'd wanted to hear his voice.

"Yeah." There was a nearly audible exhalation. Corpse's voice was a little rougher than usual, and guilt instantly flooded through him -- he'd sounded rougher all day, and maybe the stream had pushed him over the edge. 

"But I wasn't thinking -- if your voice needs a break from recording, I - I can always call you back later, or we can text or--"

"No, no. Sykkuno. It's fine." A beat, "Honestly, hearing you is... uh... it's nice." 

That softness again, a smoothness to the usually rough voice that Sykkuno was used to, but realized that most people weren't. He laid back on his bed and closed his eyes for a moment, and his hand came up to cover his face almost automatically. "So... I... so, I was thinking." It was hard to get the words out, harder still when Corpse answered him almost immediately.

"Yeah?"

"I was... uhm... afraid to try vegan pizza, after you said that it might be a hit or miss. I don't want to get... the wrong... impression of it because I didn't order it from the right place."

"Right, right." There was some edge to the voice on the other end of the line, and Sykkuno could only just manage to brush it off as the fact that he'd strained himself.

"I was just... uh, I was wondering if... well, if you meant it?"

"Meant... what?" The question was careful, only a little fast.

"Do you... if you... I mean," Sykkuno had to cover his mouth, the smile spreading there, the nervous laughter. It was stupid -- they were friends. They had been since they'd met. Friends could ask other friends to hang out. "Did you want to make pizza with me?"

There.

He'd said it.

And he could feel the crimson blush spreading from his toes all the way to his hairline.

It was even warmer when Corpse answered almost before the question had flooded out of his mouth.

"Of course." A beat, a hesitation, and the anxiety that came through the air in almost palpable waves. "I mean, if you think you want to... we can... uh... it would have to be at my place, because, well, you know..."

He didn't want to run the risk of anyone seeing his face. The fact that he had invited Sykkuno to do this to begin with was **big** to begin with... but...

He'd already seen his face, hadn't he? The picture that he'd sent through snapchat, in a conversation that was set up to delete after it was closed.

But it was his face.

And it was Corpse.

And the thing was, it didn't matter to Sykkuno. It had _never_ mattered to Sykkuno. His face was a part of him, and he _liked_ Corpse. So, he would have smiled at whatever he'd seen, because the act of sending the picture meant...

Well...

It meant everything. It had been then when Sykkuno had known that he was probably hopelessly, absolutely shamefully _lost._ He'd known he was when they were memeing -- at least, that was what he'd thought they were doing.

He'd known he was when his chest fluttered every time they played around together -- every time he avoided playing because he wasn't sure if today would be the day that Corpse announced that it was all fun and games. 

But... well...

He was going to go to his place. 

So maybe he wasn't completely lost? 

He... he didn't know.

"When did you want to..?"

"Uh, I have to record, but that's in the morning. If you want to come over later this week some night, we can... uh, I can order the ingredients and... we could..." he trailed off, sighed again. Exasperated. It was part of the reason that Sykkuno was as drawn to him as he was, why they'd probably bonded as quickly as they had.

They both seemed to struggle with expressing -- with accepting the fact that someone else actually did care, did want to care, at least. 

Shared trauma is a powerful thing. 

"That's fine. Just... uhm... text me the time? And the... the address, I guess, and I can meet you there. I meant, not meet you, you'll already be there, but, you know. I'll see you there?" He fumbled through his words, and was rewarded with a soft, throaty laugh.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course. I... uh..." That laugh again, a little rougher this time, "Did you need to get off of the phone?"

There was only a little bit of connotation to the question. The answer was yes, of course. It was late, and he was tired... but Corpse seemed to want him to stay. "No, no, no. I couldn't sleep, so if you want to talk for a while--"

"I just want..." He paused, and there was a breath on the other end of the line. Slow. In and out. "No, no. You should go to bed, Sykkuno. I'll text you in the morning."

"Yeah, but Corpse, I--"

He'd clearly been about to say something -- to ask something. He wanted something, and Sykkuno didn't know what it was.

And he wasn't going to get to know, because the deep, rumbling voice continued on.

"Goodnight, Sykkuno. I... uhm... I can't wait to... I mean, I'm excited for tomorrow."

And then he hung up, and Sykkuno was left staring at his phone in wide-eyed shock and confusion.

\---

He hadn't been nervous about what to wear since _Highschool._ Thankfully, Rae had some kind of magical senses, and she texted him early in the morning.

_You aren't on stream, what's up?_

_**I have, uh, plans?** _

_**Going to stream in a bit.** _

_**I was just trying to get everything....** _

_**sorted so I could go after.** _

He punched each line in individually, his breath coming sharper with every press of the enter button.

The phone rang. "Plans with _who_ , Sykkuno?" 

"Uhm... I mean, it isn't a big deal, it's--"

"You're making _pizza,_ aren't you?"

How did she _know?_

Sometimes he wondered if she went back and watched streams just to make sure that she caught everything that was going on. She was so supportive of everything that he did, and it seemed like this was no exception...

\---

Which was why Sykkuno was in a long-sleeve white hoodie when he pulled up to the address that Corpse had given him. He stared up at the apartment complex with apprehension and then pulled the hood of his jacket up. He wasn't really worried about anyone following him, but his friend's precaution and anxiety were in the forefront of his mind. It was late though -- later than he'd intended. It was already fully dark. The only good thing was the fact that he knew that Corpse wasn't going to be sleeping.

So it wasn't like he was bothering him. He hoped.

Sykkuno looked around carefully. No one was paying attention to him; no one noticed that he'd gotten out of the car more than to glance at him. That was how his life usually went, though. He was cute enough for people while he was on stream, but out in public, he was just another face. He wasn't really special... just... good enough for online. It worked out for him now, because no one gave him a second look when he buzzed himself into the apartment with the code the he'd been texted. No one noticed when he slipped up the stairs.

And no one was even in the _hallway_ when he knocked on the apartment door. 

There were sounds -- a click, a lock sliding out of place. Another latch.... and then the door opened. Just slightly. Just enough for Sykkuno to glance upward and see soft, anxious eyes. And then he stepped inside and the door was shut behind him.

He took a moment to listen to the shaking breath behind him -- the amount of trembling in it left him standing and facing the front; he let his eyes roam around instead, giving Corpse a few minutes to get his breathing under control; Sykkuno had to assume that it was from the anxiety of someone new being over, that it didn't have anything in particular to do with _him,_ so much as just a body in a room where there usually wasn't one. But it was nice to look at where Corpse lived, anyway. It was actually a fairly normal apartment, as far as apartments went. Corpse hadn't gone all out decorating it, or buying the most expensive things -- in fact, the most expensive-looking thing in the room was the sound system hooked up in the corner.

"I like your place, Corpse. It's r-really soothing." Sykkuno let his voice drift carefully through the apartment. There was some kind of lofi-music playing in the corner, like something that he'd have in the background of his channel while he was answering questions. He kept talking, "It must be really nice to live alone; I haven't really ever had a place by myself before, so I wouldn't know. But it _seems_ nice to be somewhere that isn't _loud_ ," and full of people who were expecting things from you.

"Thanks for coming over, Sykkuno." The trembling breath behind him had finally quelled enough that the young man turned around to face his friend. It hadn't been the easiest thing, but he didn't want to make this situation harder on Corpse than it had to be. He'd invited him over -- he'd let him inside. The last thing that he wanted was to make it something that he regretted.

"Don't thank me until we haven't burned down your kitchen together." Sykkuno grinned, his hand instantly coming up to cover his mouth as the soft laughter spilled from his throat. 

"We shouldn't burn down the kitchen, it's just pizza." Corpse graced him with a soft smile, and that was enough to make his heart leap just a bit. The next words came out of his mouth before he really thought about them.

"But you said you're an awful cook."

There was a beat of silence, and then Sykkuno realized what he'd said. Corpse slid him a look from his one revealed eye, but the grin on his lips only broadened slightly.

"Did I say that to you, Sykkuno?"

And of course he hadn't. He hadn't ever mentioned that to him -- but he had mentioned it on one of his live streams... one before he'd ever even met him. And the fact that he'd allowed himself to say aloud that he'd listened to it... that he'd carefully absorbed each and every fact about the man that was standing in front of him and filed it away like a precious memory...

Well...

"Uh... I think you menti... uh... said it in a lobby one time. In Among Us. You know, p-probably talking to... Jack about it. Or, uh..." His eyes widened, and then he gave a small little squeak and turned, walking past Corpse and loudly changing the subject. "I like your kitchen! It's big."

There was a shuffling sound behind him, and Sykkuno could feel the heat of another body, pressed close to him, but not so close that he was touching him.

Just close enough that he could _feel_ him there, and that was somehow almost worse. This time, it was his breath that shook slightly, but he held himself in a still position for as long as he dared, until finally, Corpse slid past him and the brushing of their shoulders only sent a small little shock through his body.

Only the slightest. 

Corpse stood with his body facing left, his gaze continually flipping upward to look at Sykkuno standing in his kitchen. Finally, he couldn't help himself. He let out another nervous giggle, covered his mouth. 

"What's wrong? You keep, uh, staring at me." And then, just as quickly, "Did you get the ingredients? I can help if you--"

"It's weird to see you here." Sykkuno's heart dropped. And Corpse, seemingly picking up on it, quickly added. "Not... not a bad weird or anything. Just... you're usually on a screen, and I'm usually just watching while we play, so it's weird. That's all."

"You watch me while we play?"

This time it was Corpse who might have had the slightest flare of crimson dance along his cheeks. Sykkuno stepped forward, his eyes sliding along the planes of his features, the mass of curly hair that he'd tried to carefully tuck away beneath the hood of his jacket. 

It _was_ weird, but it wasn't a bad kind of weird at all.

It was...

"It's a good weird?"

There was another pause, a beat, and Corpse nodded.

"Yeah, it is."

Apparently, being together in person was a lot harder than flirting in a cavalier way over the internet, or even in a more subtle way on the phone or over discord when they weren't live for the world to see. They weren't just doing it for memes. 

They weren't interacting for anyone but themselves, and it seemed to hold so much more weight, so much more meaning that Sykkuno hadn't really been aware of, or ready for...

That he'd been _wanting_ for longer than he was willing to admit.

Probably since the first time that they'd played together. There'd been something about him, even then. Something like a flower slowly budding in the morning light, opening slowly and showing the world how amazing it was.

That was Corpse, even if he didn't realize it.

"Most of the stuff is in the refrigerator." Corpse was busying himself with setting out a few metal utensils. Sykkuno was busying himself with trying _not_ to stare at Corpse while he was setting out a few metal utensils.

It wasn't easy. 

His _presence_ was something that could overwhelm him so easily, and it had been the same way when they were talking on the phone. There was just something about him that made Sykkuno question everything; of course, he'd always been questioning everything, regardless of what he'd told everyone.

It just wasn't proper for him to have other thoughts.

And until this moment, he hadn't _had_ to have any other thoughts, because no one had really made him feel..

Well...

It didn't matter.

He came to the refrigerator and pulled out a paper bag that still had all of the delivery ingredients inside of it. He looked for a moment at the otherwise barren shelves and then turned to Corpse with a brow arched.

"You really don't cook, do you?" 

Corpse chuckled, almost a nervous sound, and then it turned into a full-on laugh. "I really am shit at it. I don't know why I offered to help you make a pizza, I mean, I guess that it's not hard to fuck up. But it's not like it's going to be amazing--" He laughed again, took a breath that shook only slightly, "I'll order you one from my favorite place once we're done with this disaster. Or I can just do it now, if... I mean, if you don't wan--"

Sykkuno had been forced to screw up his courage so he could say what he was thinking, and with a small, nervous laugh he stepped forward and plopped the bag onto the counter beside Corpse.

"Let's do this." He did his best to sound optimistic, but the fact was... he didn't know how to cook, either. He wasn't sure if they were going to make a complete mess of this, or if they were going to manage to figure it out, but he was ready to _try_ , because trying meant that he got to...

Spend time...

"This is the dough, so... we roll it out?" 

"It's already flat, Sykunno," Corpse's voice was softer, full of amusement, and Sykkuno couldn't stop himself from laughing at how ridiculous he was being. His hand instantly came up to cover his mouth, and almost of its own volition, Corpse's came up and touched his wrist -- the most gentle touch that he'd ever felt, feather light. Almost like it wasn't there. "Why do you do that?"

His fingers just clapped harder over his mouth. He honestly... just... he'd been made fun of too much when he was younger for his laugh, for his smile, for his... everything, really. 

He didn't want to deal with the new people in his life being that way, thinking that way about him. He just wanted people to _like_ him, and even though there were so many people on his stream who tuned in to him day in and day out, that didn't mean anything. They didn't know him -- not really. And there were people who were nasty just as often as there were people who were kind.

He was...

He...

"I don't know." He finally muttered the words, and the slender, long fingers at his wrist very slowly crept around to wrap the diameter of it. He wasn't putting any pressure on him to take his hand down; he wasn't trying to move it.

He was just... holding it. Corpse let his thumb run gentle circles along the pulse that was jumping just a little faster on that narrow wrist.

And Sykkuno had never felt anything more comforting in his life.

"I... uh.. uhm. I mean... I've seen your smile before, Sykkuno. It's... uh..." He paused, and Corpse's voice was going just a little too fast again, just a slightly softer cadence. "It's nice."

He knew that he'd slipped up on his stream a few times. There were entire youtube compilations about it. But had Corpse gone to look for those, or had he really just been watching enough to notice?

He was just his friend -- right? Because Sykkuno had watched Corpse's streams, too.

He was _straight_. 

So he was just his **friend**.

But the way that he was leaning close enough to him that he could smell something sweet like berries on his breath and soft soap on his skin... and see the dark circles in perfect clarity under his eyes didn't _feel_ like he was just friends.

Neither did the way that his hand crept very slowly along the line of his wrist, or his pulse that was thrumming faster and faster with every passing second in an embarrassingly obvious way, because his fingers were right on it, so of course he could feel it, _of course he could feel it_ , and he was going to realize that this meant more to Sykkuno than he was letting on.

"Corpse, uh... I..." He needed to get out of this situation -- it was why he'd run from the conversation to begin with, and somehow he'd roped himself into being here anyway, even though he knew that he wouldn't be able to handle it; the thrumming, fast beat of his heart was the only way that he could handle it.

And the hand over his mouth wasn't hiding the blush that was spreading along his cheeks at such a rapid rate that he felt like his ears were going to steam off.

"Sykkuno." Impossibly, Corpse's voice was even deeper, and Sykkuno felt like he was swaying in front of him. Completely trapped. Completely lost.

Completely melting when those searching fingers finally came up and interlocked with his own, pulled his hand down from his mouth.

But it wasn't to see anything -- he wasn't trying to catch sight of the smile that Sykkuno was trying to hide.

Instead, Corpse closed his eyes and leaned forward before he could react -- and he _kissed him._

He was pretty sure that his soul left his body immediately. 

His lips were chapped but sweet, and Sykkuno could not stop the very embarrassing keening whine that escaped his throat and fled straight into Corpse's mouth. He jerked back at the noise, his hand clapping back over his face again, his eyes wide, his head spinning.

"Oh, God. Uh, Sykkuno. I'm... oh, fuck." Corpse turned instantly, and his hands raised over his face in... embarrassment? Disgust at himself? Whatever it was, there was actual _pain_ in the tone of his voice, and Sykkuno couldn't stop himself.

He was shocked -- yes, because this had only happened in his head, was only ever supposed to happen in his head. But there was something that he couldn't stand even more than his own embarrassment.

The pain in that deep, sweet voice.

And besides, he couldn't say no to Corpse.

He walked around and brought both hands up very carefully, slowly. He didn't touch Corpse's face. Instead, he let soft fingers glide along his neck and then tangle in his hair.

"Don't... C-Corpse. I just didn't... think that. I..."

"No, Sykkuno, I get it. I fucked up, _I'm_ fucked up, I-"

There was really only one thing for it. Sykkuno leaned forward and pressed his mouth against those downturned lips in return. And this time, there wasn't any breaking away.

This time, there was only warmth and chapped lips and the taste of what Sykkuno was fairly certain was some kind of juice. He groaned at the taste again, and this time when Corpse tried to pull back -- even though his mouth was working greedily against Sykkuno's -- when his own body was screaming at him to do the same thing before someone popped out and told him that this was all a joke, he tightened his fingers in that curly hair and held himself in place instead.

It was... 

Better than he'd expected. Better than he'd ever though it could be. Lips parted and tongues met, and he felt like he was definitely dreaming, because he hadn't done a damn thing to deserve the man in front of him actually _wanting_ to kiss him.

But he wasn't just kissing him. After a moment of hesitation, those long, slender fingers had found their own hold. One was wrapped around Sykkuno's waist, pulling him tight and flush against him, and the other was behind his neck, tilting his head back; Corpse wasn't tall, but he was tall enough that he still had to lean in, to slant his head to make sure that their lips could stay connected as he turned and pressed Sykkuno's back against the counter and kissed him just a little harder.

They broke away after a few wet, sweet moments, and Sykkuno, who knew for a fact that his face was completely flushed red, was happy to see that Corpse's cheeks were also tinged crimson.

Soft and sweet and something he never thought he would see. 

It wasn't just that pink tinge, though. There was something both soft and hot in his eyes all at once, and Sykkuno could feel his stomach clenching tight, could feel the words catching in his throat with so much vigor that he couldn't even manage to stutter for a few moments. 

Finally, the question came out in a sharp burst that was blurred together without breath. "Ithoughtyouwerestraightyourqandasaidyouwere?"

It wasn't eloquent or put together or thought out... it wasn't really anything but Sykkuno desperately trying to understand what was happening, because the heat that was trailing through his entire body was nearly overwhelming, and was certainly something that he couldn't ignore now that it had started. He'd been thinking about this moment -- dreaming about it, and wondering how it would be because he knew that it could never happen.

Only... now it was. And Corpse still had a hand around his waist and fingers tickling at the hair curling at the back of his neck. It only took the man in front of him a moment to answer. 

"I thought I was." A beat, a pause. "And then, uhm. I met you. And I guess that didn't matter." There was a raw honesty in his voice that made something inside of Sykkuno's chest melt. He didn't realize that his fingers were gripping the jacket that Corpse wore quite so tightly until he felt the way that his arms were shaking because of it. 

He didn't let go though. He wasn't sure that he would be able to stay upright if he did.

Instead, he held on tighter, wasn't sure what to say... because he was fairly certain that Corpse had just confessed that... that he...

"I really like you, Sykkuno." 

He'd heard the words before. He'd even heard Corpse tell him that he loved him, but this was different. There was something so much different when they were this close, when he could smell the sweet juice on his breath, when he was holding him like he couldn't let him go, either. It was almost intoxicating, and Sykkuno knew that he couldn't handle drinking very well. So maybe that was why his words came out hot and a little bit slurred still.

"I really like you, t-too."

He only stuttered once, and he didn't raise his hand up to cover his face like he wanted to as the blush felt like it was deepening. Instead, he kept his eyes wide, stared at Corpse... waited for him to pull back, to say it was just a joke.

To do anything to let him know that this wasn't a moment that was actually happening, because things like this never happened for Sykkuno. Not really. 

And it really looked for a moment like that was still going to happen; there was a moment of panic, frustration, something wild in Corpse's eyes, and he dropped his gaze.

"I don't know how you do." The words were soft and mumbled, a low rumble so achingly gentle that Sykkuno's breath was taken away. He leaned in a little closer, dipped his head down so he could catch that downcast gaze.

"You... y-you're you? I don't know how else to explain it." There were a thousand words. He was sweet -- caring, kind, protective, trustworthy. He was going through so much, but he was still so strong, and still so driven and compassionate about his fanbase and his friends. 

He was just... him. 

"No, I get it. It's, uhm. I mean, I know that I'm not..."

"You're perfect." He didn't stutter on those words, at least. It was probably because they were some of the most honest that he'd ever said. He hadn't actually realized that someone could be perfect until he'd met Corpse -- and there'd been something about him from that very first interaction. Something that had been growing over the last few weeks until he realized that he couldn't really deny it, and he certainly couldn't hide it very well. The entire internet had picked up on it, even though he'd been doing his damn hardest to make sure that he didn't show it -- and when he'd realized that they were, he'd turned it into something that could be a meme, a joke, so that he always had the excuse to avoid it, to pretend that it wasn't there.

But it was there.

And it was real.

And being this close to Corpse was all of the proof that he needed for the fact that it was something that he couldn't control anymore.

"I really... _really_ like you." He murmured the words out, a soft almost whisper that left his throat tight and his tongue feeling thick in his mouth for the fact that, even though he'd been kissed, and even though he was being held close... there was still a chance that he could be denied right now.

Because he wanted things.

So many things.

And he wasn't sure how to ask for it. 

Honestly, Sykkuno had never been very good with words. He was all right when he was talking to himself, or to his stream, even. But then, he was usually stuttering and stumbling over what he was trying to say.

He didn't want to stutter or stumble right now. He didn't want to mess up -- he wasn't sure if he would be able to recover if he did.

But Corpse was looking at him, and his eyes were a swirl of sweet, dark emotion that Sykkuno was having trouble believing... and when he leaned in this time, his mouth brushed softly against his, and he spoke again in that soft, even deeper rumble. 

"I really, really like you, too." 

Sykkuno closed the distance between them, coming up on his toes to press his mouth to Corpse's again, and this time he let his fingers that had been clinging so tightly to the shirt loose... but only long enough to timidly slide them lower, to the waistband of slightly loose jeans, and then upward, so that they grazed for a moment against bare flesh.

Corpse jerked slightly at the motion, and Sykkuno felt his own lips freeze. Had he taken it to far?

But that wasn't it, because his body was being shifted, twirled, and pressed against the kitchen counter on the opposite end of the kitchen where there was more open space and less pizza ingredients. There was actually a low grunt of something akin to irritation in Corpse's voice, and he pulled back only look enough to look at his face with curiosity. 

"What's wrong?"

"I'd lift you up if I could... but I can't-- I'm not..." There was so much frustration and just the slightest bit of shame in his voice -- his body was still lean, still obviously taken care of. It was another thing about Corpse that he remembered; he'd lifted weights before everything had happened with his health -- he'd liked to dance. He probably could have lifted Sykkuno without any trouble.

And now... well, he probably still could, but he didn't want to think about how it might hurt him later.

He wrapped his arms around the man in front of him and shifted his body around -- it wasn't easy, because Sykkuno wasn't exactly the biggest person, but he was still strong enough to turn the man in his arms so that it was Corpse who had his back pressed against the counter; his hands snaked around his frame again, stealing away beneath the cotton tee and finding the warmth of his skin. He held him close, and then leaned his head on his shoulder, bringing his lips to the pulse that was jumping raggedly at the pale throat in front of him.

"You don't have to be able to lift me to be strong, you know?" The words were spoken softly, with only the slightest bit of a quaver. With his face hidden against his neck, it was a lot easier for him to be bold. With his body pressed so tight along the line of Corpse's, it was much, much easier to pretend that this was a situation that he deserved, something that he was meant to do.

Besides, it wasn't like Corpse's song said he was the one who wanted to choke -- it was the other way around, wasn't it? 

Sykkuno had been thinking about it a lot -- probably more than he should have. But there was a small part of his mind that was pretty curious about exactly _what_ Corpse actually wanted. What he liked.

He wanted to be able to...

He wanted to make him...

Sykkuno was a people pleaser. 

Just the thought of doing _anything_ to make Corpse happy was enough to make that flood of crimson spill across his cheeks again -- enough to make him nearly duck his head to hide the nervous smile that was trying to cross his features. 

The only reason that he didn't do it was because fingers lit across his face, cupped his jaw, pulled him closer so that his entire line of sight was just encompassed with that warm, dark look... and the softest of smiles that he had a feeling Corpse didn't even realize he was wearing. 

The fact that he could let his guard down was truly one of the most beautiful things that Sykkuno had ever seen. He leaned in again, and this time when he kissed him there was more confidence behind it. The last thing that he wanted was for Corpse to think that he _didn't_ want him because of health issues. Honestly, he would have happily made the pizza and curled up on the couch with him to play video games if he wasn't feeling well -- he would have let him rest in bed and taken care of him, made sure he was actually drinking water and relaxing -- but the fingers that slipped into his hair and tugged insistently told him that those thoughts were the last thing on Corpse's mind. 

Their mouths were softer this time, slower for the fact that they seemed keener on exploring the taste of one another, the feel of being pressed so close. It was long, slender fingers that slipped underneath Sykkuno's shirt this time, warm to the touch and eager when they slipped along the length of his spine and worked against the lean muscles of his back. He couldn't stop the low whimpered moan that pooled from his mouth, and the sound only seemed to incense the man in front of him, because blunt nails carefully dragged downward, until fingers hooked into the well-fitted jeans that Sykkuno was wearing.

He whimpered again, and when Corpse pulled him closer with insistent fingers, he could do nothing but follow the motion... do nothing but let his hands slip up and around him, digits getting lost in thick, curly hair, gripping tightly to a dark shirt and smelled _really good_.

He knew the instant that Corpse felt his body's reaction to what was happening -- he leaned in too hard, and maybe he should have worn looser pants. The taller of the two froze for a moment, though his lips were still pressed tight to Sykkuno's... and if he wasn't mistaken, his breath was coming out in a soft, fine tremble.

It didn't _seem_ like a bad thing, but he had been caught... with a boner... pressed against Corpse's leg. 

He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to emotionally recover from that one. 

His entire face was flooded completely crimson before he started to pull back, and he probably would have managed to make it away completely had arms not wrapped tightly around him. He didn't even get a chance to pull his face up, to try to hide the color -- there was just Corpse, holding him close, pressing their bodies together until it was one smooth, perfect line.

Until Sykkuno was able to realize that he wasn't the only one who was quite obviously excited.

His breath came in a shaking gasp, and though he'd thought he'd managed to at least partially quell his nerves, they were suddenly pouring through him in overdrive. The fact was, Corpse also had a...

Which meant that...

He finally managed to peek his eyes upward, only to find that Corpse's entire face was flushed crimson, that his eyes were closed. There was a fine, trembling pulse running through his entire body. Honestly, he looked... gorgeous. There was something about the set to his mouth, the fact that he was breathing just a little too quickly so that his nostrils flared. 

There was something about the way that he didn't open his eyes, even when Sykkuno said his name softly. He didn't even respond until he'd called it again. Only when he'd called his name for a second time did he finally give a soft, almost painfully deep response.

"Sykkuno, do you..." But the sentence seemed to elude him. It was obvious that he was doubting himself. Doubting the fact that this was really happening at all.

And most certainly doubting the fact that Sykkuno had felt what he'd felt and was still standing there. The only thing that the shorter male could do was raise up on tiptoe and very carefully press a kiss against his mouth.

"I've never..." He tried not to stumble over his own words, tried to have some measure of confidence just to make sure that one of them was keeping a level head. "I haven't... I mean. I have, but it was... uh, by myself, and uh..." He was choking on his own nerves again, actually ducked his head slightly -- the burning skin was met with Corpse's lips. Soft and almost cool against the heat.

"You've never had sex before?" That low rumble again, so low that it strung across Sykkuno's nerves.

There was a beat. A pause, and he finally answered. "No, I haven't."

"But you want to?"

"Y-y... yes."

And that last question hung in the air between them. Because it was clear what both of their bodies were demanding -- and it was just as clear that they were both just this side of shy enough that it wasn't an automatic assumption that the other actually wanted...

"With you!" Sykkuno blurted out the words.

At the same time, Corpse also spoke, "With me?"

And the words were in perfect harmony with one another -- soft, sweet, and painfully deep.

For a moment, there was simply silence between the two of them. The question and the confession in tandem had been clear, but they were both in what seemed to be a bit of shock over the fact that it had happened at all. They were still tangled up in one another, still holding tight to each other...

And the proximity was suddenly almost too much. Sykkuno actually took a step back, his face completely crimson, his eyes bright. He bit his lower lip and quickly ran his fingers through his bangs.

"I... uhm... I mean," he looked up, his mouth twitching into a nervous smile. "You want to... with me? I'm not, I don't think that I would be very..."

Words.

He wasn't sure how to use words anymore, it seemed. It also seemed that being out of the arms that he'd just discovered the warmth of was actually just a little painful for him. But he stayed standing back, because it seemed like this was going to be a turning point -- something was either going to happen or it wasn't, and if it didn't...

He wasn't sure what he was going to do.

The forward spiral of what was happening was fast, but at the same time, it almost seemed like it had been building to something like this since the moment that they'd met. All of the flirting, the memeing, the intensity of how he knew he felt even though he'd been pushing it down and telling himself that it wasn't real, that they were just playing.

It was...

"Sykkuno..." Corpse stepped forward, slowly, and he slid his fingers into the trembling fingers of the other man. "Do you want me?"

The world seemed to hinge on that question, because it was clear -- it had always been clear -- that Corpse didn't think that anyone really did, or really would, if they saw him. If the knew him. If they had any idea what kind of a person he was.

And Sykkuno couldn't say that he knew everything about him -- that he had any idea about the secrets that he still kept hidden. But he knew enough to know that he wanted to be with him.

For as long as he would let him.

"I do."

Formal.

Soft. 

But he managed not to stutter.

And that seemed to be enough, because Corpse spilled forward again, wrapping his arms around him. This time when he kissed him, it was soft, slow... almost hesitant, because it was suddenly so much more than a kiss -- it meant so much more than just a mere brush of lips.

It was the start of something.

And Sykkuno didn't know _how_ to do that something, really... but he was ready to try.

For Corpse, he was ready to do just about anything. 


	2. what they want to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They forgot about the pizza, didn't they?

Still, there was a moment of silence between the two of them. Just because they were making these declarations didn't mean that Sykkuno was sure about what to do _after_ they had. He could feel his heart thundering in his chest, his pulse racing in thick, nearly heady waves. He almost felt like he was going to sway there on the spot, but instead, he took a deep breath and pushed his hair out of his eyes again. He tried, very carefully, to smile at Corpse. His lips were closed and they trembled ever-so-slightly for how unnatural it felt for him to go through with the motion without covering his face. 

But he managed, and once he did, he leaned in and took Corpse's fingers in his own. Soft, and sweet, and he was at least satisfied in knowing that he wasn't the only one who had fingers that trembled.

"You have a beautiful smile, Sykkuno." The words came out softly, and it was almost as though every bit of strong resolve that he had, every bit of him that was ready to try to take control and lead of the situation just dissolved in the warmth that spread through him.

"I..."

"Did you... uhm... still want to make the pizza?"

_The pizza._

That was why he'd come here, in theory.

But he wasn't really hungry, was he? 

"Not... not right now. But maybe in a while, if we-- uh... if we get hungry. Later?" After. Later.

Would there be a later?

Was he staying here all night?

He hadn't even thought about bringing a change of clothes, or any of his shower things, or a tooth brush or a--

His thoughts were cut short again when a warm mouth pressed against his, and the fingers that he held tugged him softly, moved them from the kitchen towards a closed door at the back of the apartment.

He didn't have to ask to know where they were going.

And he didn't put up any resistance when they moved. 

He only tripped up on his feet once, and there were warm arms there to catch up, to let him lean against his frame for a few seconds while he caught his balance. 

He could feel his heart hammering violently in his chest, so strong that Sykkuno wasn't sure if it was going to completely thunder from his body.

There was that possibility. 

The pounding picked up when the door was opened to reveal a queen-sized bed with rumpled black sheets and a comforter knotted into the corner of it. It was clear that this wasn't where Corpse streamed; there was a laptop in the corner of the room, another set of speakers, but that was it. The walls were filled with what Sykkuno could only assume were things that his fans had sent him; some of it was high-quality art. Some of it was jewelry, masks. 

"Wow," his voice was soft and just a little breathy, "You really do have it all hanging up, don't you?"

He was revealing, yet again, that he listened to all of Corpse's streams, but at this point, he realized that it didn't really matter if the other man knew how meticulous he'd been learning about him. 

"It makes me feel like I'm actually doing something right," his voice was soft and careful, and Sykkuno watched his eyes sweep carefully around the walls, and then finally land back on him. The corner of his mouth lilted into the slightest smile. "I still don't know what I did to deserve this."

This, he realized, was obviously _him_. His mind fumbled over a thousand answers, a thousand reasons as to why that statement was completely ridiculous because he was the one who didn't know what he'd done to deserve something _Corpse_. He hadn't even been someone that anyone _knew_ when Corpse was being sent these items. He was just a guy who liked to game, who was trying to figure his life out.

He was still trying to figure his life out.

He certainly didn't deserve the attention of one of the most adored people on the internet.

"Hey. Stop that," it was like Corpse could read all of the self-doubts that rolled through his eyes -- Sykkuno wouldn't be surprised, he actually wasn't very good at hiding his expression when it came to such strong emotions. There were reasons that he covered his face as often as he did.

"You're just... y-you're amazing. And I don't know how you don't see that." Sykkuno blurted the words out and stepped forward, walking over to very carefully run his fingers along one of the drawn pieces of art. So much of it was so well done. 

Most of the time when he picked up things from his P.O. Box, it was pictures of him and Corpse together; he hadn't been oblivious to the theme that his fans seemed to have.

He hadn't been oblivious to the fact that they'd obviously picked up on this before either of them had. 

Still, busying himself by looking at the art on the wall wasn't going to change what they'd come back here to do, and it wasn't as though Sykkuno actually _wanted_ that to change. He was just... hoping that he would find his courage somewhere on the walls, apparently. He hadn't mailed that to Corpse, as far as he knew.

"They obviously really cared about what they sent you -- it's all so good." He blurted the words out and turned to Corpse.. and then audibly gulped. The dark-haired man had pulled his hoodie off over his head, and he only wore a faded black t-shirt beneath it. The chipped paint on his nails was more obvious now, and his arms were lean and veined; like the picture.

Sykkuno had stared at that picture entirely too much. He knew every line and curve of those arms... and it made his face go red again with heat.

"I... ah... they send me... ears... and... costumes. And... f-fanart of u-us, I-I-" he didn't manage to keep stuttering, because Corpse was walking towards him slowly, and there was such a soft, almost unsure look on his face. But behind it was a swelling need to be confident, to try to make sure that _one of them was_ in this situation.

Sykkuno didn't have to be a mind reader to see that he was trying to swallow down his anxiety so that he could be brave enough for both of them.

It was...

Probably one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for him. It gave him just an ounce of that courage that he'd been looking for, and he gave a shy smile and pulled his own hoodie up and over his head. It mussed his hair, left him looking a little windblown. He had on a light blue shirt beneath the white fabric, and Corpse took a moment to pause... to look at the black hoodie and the white hoodie that had been thrown into a pile together on the chair. The contrast wasn't lost on Sykkuno, and it didn't seem to be lost on Corpse, either. He smiled, and it was the softest thing.

"Never thought you'd be here with me." His words were a careful, low mumble. Sykkuno took the opportunity to step forward while he was looking down, while he still had some of his courage screwed up, and he wrapped his arms around his waist and hugged him. It was different now, because their bodies were only separated by thin cotton. He could feel the lean muscles that still existed, even though they weren't in the same definition that Corpse might have thought was good enough.

He was more than good enough.

There was a moment where he leaned in, laid his head on the warmth of Corpse's shoulder... enjoyed the feel of those arms slowly snaking around him and the heat that penetrated through the cotton of his t-shirt, the scent that was flooding his nostrils. 

It was perfect.

All of this was more perfect than he'd ever thought was a possibility for him. But now he was here, and he had to try to swallow down the nerves and anxiety and constant thrum of you-don't-deserve-this that was beating in his head because one of them had to, and he didn't want Corpse to have to do it alone. If Sykkuno had his way, Corpse would never have to do anything alone again that he didn't want to. 

He took a deep, shaking breath and then tilted his head up from that warm shoulder after a moment. Corpse was looking at him with wide eyes, almost shining like he was thinking about blinking back tears. Sykkuno just smiled -- timid, sweet -- and raised up to kiss him softly. 

"I've thought about it too many times. Though... I never did know what your r-room looked like, so we were usually in mine." He felt his blush spill across his features again, felt the way that he trembled only slightly in admitting how much he'd thought about this, wanted this... but it seemed to make Corpse feel better.

It certainly seemed to give him the strength to wrap his arms tighter around him and pull him closer, to smile softly again and step them a few feet back until Sykkuno felt the bed press against the back of his knees and threaten to make him collapse. 

"I thought about it, too." The words were another low mumble, aching out of his chest, almost too deep to be discernible. He seemed to hesitate where they stood, and after a second, he leaned forward until his forehead was pressed against Sykkuno's and his entire field of vision was completely filled with Corpse's dark, all-consuming eyes. He felt like he was drowning, and that wasn't a bad thing. It was an ocean that he would happily sink in and live in and stay in forever.

"Are you... sure you want..." Corpse trailed off, softly. It almost seemed like he was about to say _me_ , and Sykkuno didn't like that at all.

"I've... uh... I-I've never wanted anything more." He only just managed to stutter the words out, and it was nearly painful with his anxiety trying to choke him. But... it was still honest. 

It was more honest than a lot of things that he'd said.

"Me too." Corpse murmured the words gently, and then he shifted to take Sykkuno's hand and draw them both down to the bed. It was soft -- probably one of the softest mattresses that he'd ever been on. Which made sense to him, because Corpse would want to be able to rest and relax when he was in bed, since he was in pain as often as he was. His mind trailed to the thought of him laying between the sheets, maybe in his boxers or less, and a low, strangled sound escaped him before he could stop it.

The man beside him gave him a sidelong glance, but it was clear by his expression that he realized Sykkuno wasn't panicking as much as having thoughts that were sending him into a good spiral.

It didn't help that his jeans were so tight that it was actually starting to get a little uncomfortable.

"Do you... want..." Corpse seemed to be struggling over his own words, probably because he wasn't sure how to phrase it. "I mean... you said that you've never..." There was a pause, a thought. Corpse's voice getting more and more hoarse, because it was clear now that his mind was in the same place as Sykkuno's, only it had experience with this kind of thing. "What do you want?" He finally managed to struggle the words out.

It took him a moment to look up again, and when he did, Sykkuno nearly choked. That same anxiety was still there, but behind it was a nearly scorching heat, a _need_ and a _desire_ that was so clearly defined and developed, and it was obvious that Corpse knew exactly what he wanted...

But he was asking Sykkuno instead, making sure that he was comfortable with the situation... was okay with what was going on.

Constantly considerate. Always worried about him... protecting him. 

He honestly couldn't remember a time when he hadn't been doing things like that, when he hadn't been doing everything that he could to make sure that Sykkuno was happy and comfortable and... okay.

It was probably time that he repaid that as best he could. "Hey..." he said the word softly, and then pushed himself back onto the bed and laid down. His entire body was trembling, but he managed to bring his hands up behind his head, to stretch his body out so that he was laying prone and compliant. "What i-if..." Sykkuno had to take a deep breath; he could feel the cool air hitting against a small strip of his stomach where his shirt had ridden up. "What if you tell me wh... what..." He had to take a small, shaking breath. "What you want instead."

There was a wide-eyed, almost wild moment where Corpse's gaze went nearly incandescent, and then darker. Feral. Hot. Enough that Sykkuno squirmed against the sheets and nearly whimpered just from the sight of it.

And then just as quickly, that look quelled and the man in front of him slowly crawled atop him, covered Sykkuno's body with his warmth and heat. "I want to make you feel good."

"You don't want me to c-choke you?" Sykkuno managed to get the words out, his fluster from the heated way that he'd been looked at a moment ago making him revert to joking because it was all he knew how to do.

Corpse choked, nearly strangled on his laughter and shock, and leaned down, burying his face against Sykkuno's neck and giggling. 

Of course, that giggling faded off at the sensation of their bodies being pressed in one long, hot line _horizontally._ It completely faded with the warm press of lips against Sykkuno's neck tasting his pulse until Sykkuno was shivering, until it made his lower body rut up almost of its own accord, and apparently gave Corpse the strength to raise his head up, dragging his lips along the line of his pulse, the hollow dip right behind Sykkuno's ear that was apparently _wildly_ sensitive, and then finally along the sensitive shell to growl out in bass so deep it reverberated in his bones.

"I want to _ruin_ you, Sykkuno." The sudden flood of heat at Skynno's neck was nearly missed by the way that his entire body felt like it was sent into shock over those words, and it wasn't a bad kind of shock. It was more of an _I can't believe he just said that and I can't believe how much I want it_ kind of shock. He squirmed beneath Corpse for another moment, though he made sure to keep his hands tight around him so the younger man didn't think that he'd done something wrong. Again.

Inevitably though, his voice came out, soft and almost unsure. "S-Sykkuno? Did I--"

"Want that, too." Sykkuno managed to get the words out. They were nearly strangled when he said them, so soft they were almost a squeak. But he managed to get them out nonetheless, and it was the best that he could do. That and cling to him and let his body twist and writhe instinctively. Just because he hadn't ever _done_ this before didn't mean that he didn't know how it was done.

In theory.

On paper. 

In reality, he had no idea what he was doing... but that didn't seem to matter. His words and his motion drove another low, growling groan from Corpse atop him, and he raised himself only enough to very carefully slide his hands beneath Sykkuno's t-shirt, so long fingers could splay over his abdomen, drag down with enough pressure to probably leave a streak of red. 

That was all right, though. In fact, Sykkuno was pretty sure that he _liked_ it, because he would have something to at later on and remind himself that this wasn't just a dream; that Corpse really did... that he really said... that he really _wanted._

 _"Please."_ He managed the word, soft, aching, needy... and that growling groan above him turned into his name, spoken in such a deep tone that it was intelligible. Corpse raised up and brought his mouth to Sykkuno's, his teeth hungry and his tongue greedy as it tasted him. 

He rutted his lower body upward against him again and let out a little petulant whimper at the fact that there was too much fabric, too many clothes between them for him to be able to feel all of the man atop him. Sykkuno's fingers tugged at the black t-shirt as though the motion could somehow convey what his tongue felt too thick to say.

Like a glorious mind reader, Corpse leaned back long enough to pull the black fabric from his upper body. He didn't hesitate to stretch fingers down and carefully pull Sykkuno's shirt over his head... and when he collapsed back against him there was nothing but skin pressing to skin, warm and flush and slightly sweaty, and Sykkuno realized that he'd never felt anything _so nice_ in all of his life and he wasn't sure if he was going to manage this situation without internally imploding at how much he wanted this, how much he'd been wanting this.

Relief was in sight and it was running long, perfect fingers through his hair, stroking at his high cheekbones and down along the side of his neck... and it was going to kill him.

All in all, it was a good way to go. 

But at the same time, there was something burning and twisting in his chest and all along his torso that he hadn't experienced before. Another low sound came from his throat, a strangled garble of words that might have had _please_ again somewhere in their midst. Corpse seemed to speak the same language though, because his hands slid down along the length of Sykkuno's body and dipped low into the top curve of his jeans. There was a tug, only a brief moment of hesitation, and then he found the button there and unfastened the tight fabric.

Sykkuno was practically dancing beneath him to help him wiggle it down his hips. 

Still, as soon as the cool air hit his warmed flesh, he felt embarrassment shock through him again, even more so when he felt Corpse's eyes on him. Staring. Heated.

"I-" But Sykkuno didn't get a chance at self-deprecation. Corpse shut him down quickly with hands gliding down his thighs, brushing up to the sharp curve of his hips bones.

"You're beautiful."

His chest felt like it was on fire. He brought his hands up to cover his face completely, though his palms did nothing to cool the heat that flooded him.

He _wanted_ Corpse so much that it hurt, and at the same time, there was something so amazing about the compliment, about the way that he looked at him, about the way that it really felt like he _meant it_ that he couldn't straighten his head enough to vocalize what he wanted. 

The cool whisper of fabric made him peek through slender digits in time to see Corpse tossing his pants to the side as well.

They were both completely bare in the dim light of the room, and there was a brief moment of concern and uncertainty on Corpse's face. His skin was slowly flushing to pink while the older man watched.

Sykkuno knew what it was -- he stretched up and flicked off the lights, so that they were nothing more than shadows and motion.

"Better?"

A soft sigh spilled from above him, and the lean body came back, pressed over him, pressed lips to his. "This is why you're so good for me." He murmured the words out softly -- but shouldn't anyone have known that Corpse would be more comfortable in the twilight where the light didn't bother his eyes and he didn't have to worry about being looked at? Sykkuno would have lived in the moment of staring at him forever if he could have; he had the image of him long and lean and nude and _big_ burned into his brain and he would keep it safely stored there, but seeing what he wanted meant nothing if his partner -- his _partner_ \-- wasn't comfortable. 

And maybe, someday, he wouldn't feel so anxious.

Sykkuno was certainly ready to commit to finding out. He actually had never been ready for anything more -- but all of those thoughts were for a time when his head was working and his tongue wasn't garbled and _wanting._ He'd worry about it then. For now, all he could concentrate on the fluttering sensation of Corpse moving above him, the slide of a drawer opening, a cap popping, something tearing. 

This didn't seem real to him -- none of this seemed real, and maybe some part of his brain might have told him that everything was moving too fast... but honestly, they were both adults, and whatever had been happening between them had been happening for months now, even if it hadn't been physical.

And he couldn't think of anything that he wanted more than to just _be_ with Corpse. In every way that he could.

So when lips came forward again and gently murmured, "Are you sure about this, Sykkuno? We don't have to, if you don't want to... we could just..." He turned his head and caught the quelled against his mouth, kissed Corpse, and then murmured back.

"If you want me, s-show me." 

A challenge, and a way to tell Corpse to _stop questioning it_ without actually telling him to shut up. 

The low, growling moan above him was more than enough of an answer in response.

And then there weren't words, there was just motion. Cold, gliding fingers slicked with lube wrapping around the hardness between his legs and making Sykkuno whimper and buck upward... and then that same, liquid cold feeling sliding back further, pressing against a tightness that Sykkuno had only ever touched _himself._

"Ready?"

"Please?"

Hesitation didn't seem to exist anymore. There was just pressure, pressure, slowly sliding -- a momentary burst of pain... and then _motion._

And that motion was one of the best things that I'd ever felt in his life. It was _nothing_ like when he was by himself, because there was a careful thrusting that was accented with lips on his collar bone, a warm tongue sliding along the pulse of his neck, teeth catching at his lower lip, and a low moan that completely tore his nerves apart. 

And after a few moments, one finger was joined by another, and Sykkuno let out a small little whimper for the fact that it hurt just a little more, but then it felt _even better_ , and the hand that was working on his prick didn't stop its slow, teasing motion. He was already squirming and writhing beneath the careful touch, and he knew that he wasn't going to last for half as long as he wanted, but he guessed that it didn't matter as long as it felt just as good for Corpse as it did for him.

That thought made his head spin and his hands reach out almost blindly. One found a _perfect_ face and traced the lines of it for a moment, but the other fumbled blindly in the darkness, sliding down Corpse's torso until he felt his prick standing hard and at attention.

The gasping growl above him made it more than worth finding. He was tentative as he pumped, pleased to find that it was already slicked in preparation with lubrication so his palm could easily glide along the length that it only took Sykkuno a moment to realize had been wrapped in a condom -- somewhere in the back of his mind, he was touched with the fact that even though _he had completely forgotten about it_ , Corpse was considerate and caring enough to make sure that they were being safe. 

"Sy," Corpse stuttered the word out after a moment. "Sy, s-stop. Or I won't... or we won't..." He had to pull himself back. The fingers that had been scissoring inside of him were taken away, and Sykkuno whimpered in protest for just a moment before those digits were replaced with the thickness that he'd had in his hand only a moment ago. Pressing, almost asking permission.

But he remembered what Corpse had said before, and it was so much easier to say what was on his mind when it was dark and the man above him couldn't see how red his face was from speaking. "I want y-you to ruin me."

There.

He'd said it.

And he didn't regret it when Corpse's hips flexed and he thrust inside of him; he'd worked him slick and open, and Sykkuno wasn't experiencing this for the first time, even though he was experiencing it with a person for the first time... and all that he could do was arch his entire body and cry out in pleasure with a tiny tinge of pain as he slipped inside of him until he was buried to the pelvis and then fell atop Sykkuno to catch the sound spilling out of his throat with his mouth and drink it down like a man enjoying his very first meal in years.

For a moment, he just stayed buried like that, with his lips and tongue feeding at the whimpered, needy sounds that were pouring from Sykkuno's mouth And for a while, Sykkuno knew that he would happily stay in this moment forever -- completely connected, completely bare and needy and joined together -- because nothing had ever felt so right.

But then it felt even _better_ because Corpse started to move. It was slow at first, the buck of his hips an inward and outward draw that left him keening against those still hungry lips. But as soon as his body adjusted, the younger man seemed to know it like a magician. He started to move faster, harder -- it was more than just motion, it was _everything_ sliding and pulsing through him. It was that thickness trying to completely tear him to pieces, to split him in half and find his center, and Sykkuno would have been okay with that as long as it didn't stop.

He never wanted it to stop.

Corpse seemed too determined though, and his mouth trailed from Sykkuno's lips to his jaw, so he could growl softly in his ear. "Wanted this for so long. Wanted _you_ for so long. You're so _good_ , Sy. So fuckin' good." And the words were almost as hot as his movements, because they were said with so much absolute and filthy need, and he picked up his pace, sliding one hand down between their bodies and catching Sykkuno's leg, drawing it upward to open him even more, shifting until it was propped over his shoulder and Sykkuno could do nothing but splay in front of him and whine, clutching tightly while his nails dug into Corpse's skin in what would inevitably leave marks.

But it didn't matter. The friction of their bodies pressing against one another was too much in tandem with the fact that this angle beat even deeper, even harder, and Corpse was hitting _that_ spot that sent starbursts burning behind the darkness of his lids, until he could do nothing but arch upward, buck, writhe, and then shout his name.

Soft and strangled and needy and a profession of emotions that he hadn't gotten around to saying.

"Corpse! I--hgnnnn... Corpse!" 

And he felt the sticky heat burst from the head of his cock a moment before Corpse leaned in, bringing his knee up to his chest, and thrust until the bed jumped and then even in the darkness Sykkuno could see him throw his head back for a moment before diving down, burying it against his neck and _growling_ his name before setting his teeth into the skin between shoulder and neck and biting softly to stop himself from screaming.

There was another wild moment of bucking and the sensation of Corpse's stomach muscles contracting against him as he spilled his pleasure... and then he fell down beside him and let out a small little groan before wrapping his arms around Sykkuno's trembling body and pulling him close.

For a while, there was just the panting sound of their breath, the smell of sweat and sex rolling through the air. Sykkuno nuzzled against his neck, kissed there softly, and then smiled broadly enough that Corpse could feel it.

"Uh... was that... uh, did you... was it good?" Corpse, concerned, soft, and sweet.

"It was perfect."

There was a hum of satisfaction from beside him -- though Sykkuno had a feeling that Corpse had held back to make sure that he didn't hurt him.

That was all right though -- there would be more chances, he hoped. 

He really, _really_ hoped.

"Uhm... Corpse?" He couldn't stop the sudden need for clarification.

"Hm?" The voice above him was deep and so satisfied, and Sykkuno could have drowned in how happy he sounded. 

"Are you... are we... uh... a-are..." He stumbled over himself, shy even though they were naked and wrapped around one another and had just had sex... because somehow, asking this was almost more intimate than what they'd just done.

"Sy?"

"Are you my boyfriend?" He blurted the question out quickly, and then buried his face against a sweaty shoulder.

Corpse laughed, deep and rumbling and sweet; Sykkuno never felt like he was laughing _at_ him, and the sound didn't make him feel more self-conscious.

"If... if that's what you want. Yeah. I--" Corpse cut himself off, shifted, turned Sykkuno in his arms so he could press his lips to his and speak against his mouth. "Do you want to be my boyfriend, Sykkuno?"

"Yes!" He squeaked the word out before the question was even asked, and instantly felt a flood of joy trickle through him.

Boyfriend.

Corpse.

Corpse was his boyfriend. 

"Good. Because I don't know if I want to let you leave, ever."

And honestly, that sounded perfect to him. He nuzzled against Corpse-- against his _boyfriend_ \-- and felt the soft, sucking sensation of sleep starting to drag at the edge of his mind. Corpse shifted, grabbed the blankets, and pulled it up over them both. They probably needed to talk about all of this -- and they could. Later. Not now. Right now, all that he wanted was to lay in his arms and feel how _perfect_ everything was.

It was only when he was sliding into unconsciousness that he had a thought, murmured sleepy and almost slurred from his lips. "Oh, Corpse! The pizza!" 

The laughter in response was instant and sweet, and perfect. "I'll order you one tomorrow."

And honestly, that sounded just _fine_ to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, this was amazingly fun to write, and i have full intentions of writing more for these two very soon! thank you so much for all of the comments and kudos. it was so sweet and surprising and just... wonderful! thank you for indulging me in my need for sweetness and then smut! if you have any kind of story requests for these two, just let me know. i really like writing what people want to see! i might make a request box soon!


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